AITA for exposing my wife’s affair at her work event and causing a public meltdown?

I’m a 34M and I never thought I’d be the kind of husband posting on Reddit, but here I am questioning everything after what I found at my wife’s 32F company event. I went there uninvited after my friend 35F, who works at the same company, told me my wife 32F had been acting weird with a 29M coworker for weeks. I stayed in the corner of the hall, watching as she laughed too closely with him while HR manager 41F kept glancing at them like she already suspected something. My wife 32F suddenly excused herself and walked toward a private conference room, and the 29M coworker followed right behind her without hesitation, making my stomach drop. I followed them, heart pounding, and when I reached the door I heard her say his name in a way I had only ever heard her say mine, so I pushed the door open just as my friend 35F caught up behind me shouting my name, and inside the room my wife 32F froze mid-step while the 29M coworker turned pale and HR manager 41F stood up asking what was going on—

Everything went silent for a second that felt way too long. My wife immediately tried to laugh it off, saying I was “making a scene” and that nothing inappropriate was happening, just a “work discussion.” But the way she fixed her blouse and stepped back from him told me everything I needed.

My friend 35F didn’t even hesitate. She said, “Don’t lie, everyone in the department has been talking.” That’s when the coworker 29M started stammering, saying I was misunderstanding, but HR manager 41F cut him off and told everyone to leave the room except me, my wife, and her.

What followed was brutal. HR 41F confirmed there had already been internal concerns about “unprofessional conduct” between them. Apparently, they had been warned twice before.

My wife’s face completely changed when she realized this wasn’t just a personal confrontation anymore—it was documented.

I asked her directly if anything had been going on between them outside of work. She stayed quiet for too long. That silence was the answer.

She finally admitted they had been emotionally involved for months but insisted “nothing physical” had happened. I honestly didn’t know if that made it better or worse.

HR 41F told her she was suspended pending investigation and asked me to leave the room. My wife tried to grab my arm as I walked out, but I pulled away. The coworker was already gone, probably escorted out the back.

Outside the building, my friend 35F said I did the right thing, but some of her coworkers later messaged me saying I embarrassed her publicly and ruined her career over “assumptions.”

My wife moved out two days later and now says I humiliated her in front of her entire workplace and should’ve handled it privately instead of showing up like that.

But I keep thinking—if I hadn’t gone there, would she have ever told me the truth?

So now I’m stuck between feeling betrayed and feeling like I blew everything up in a way I can’t take back.

AITA for confronting her like that in front of everyone instead of dealing with it at home?