AITA for exposing my husband after I caught him with my best friend in our house?

I (32F) don’t even know how to write this properly because it still feels unreal even though it already happened.

Me and my husband (34M) have been married for 8 years. Not perfect obviously, we’ve had fights and normal issues, but nothing that made me think he’d ever do something like this. And my best friend (31F)… I’ve known her since I was like 19. She’s literally been in my house, my wedding, my pregnancy appointments, everything. I trusted her more than most of my own family.

For the past maybe 4–5 months I started noticing weird stuff between them. Not like obvious movie cheating stuff, just small things. They would always end up in conversations together and then go quiet when I came near. He’d suddenly be on his phone a lot more, locking it immediately when I walked in. She started coming over even when I wasn’t home, saying things like “your husband said it was fine.”

I did bring it up once or twice and both of them basically acted like I was being paranoid. My husband even said I was “creating problems where there aren’t any” and my friend laughed and said I watch too many dramas. So I honestly backed off because I didn’t want to be that insecure wife.

Anyway, last week I came home earlier than expected because my shift got cut. I noticed her car outside which was already weird because I wasn’t supposed to be home at that time. I went inside and everything was too quiet.

I won’t go into graphic detail because there’s no point, but I found them in my bedroom and it was very obvious what was going on. Like there was no misunderstanding it. I just froze for a second because my brain honestly couldn’t process it.

I didn’t scream or anything. I just turned around, went back outside, sat in my car for a bit, and then drove to my sister’s place. I think I was just in shock more than anything.

Later that night I came back with my sister because I needed my things and they were both still there like nothing happened. My husband tried to talk to me like it was just some mistake and kept saying “it didn’t mean anything like that” and my friend was crying saying she “never meant for it to happen like this” and that I’m “blowing everything up.”

Which honestly made me even more angry than what I saw.

After that I told my family and his family. Now everything is completely blown up. My husband is saying I humiliated him by telling people and that I should’ve handled it privately. His side of the family is split, some of them are saying I should try therapy and not throw away 8 years over one mistake, others are saying what he did is disgusting.

My friend is now blocked by basically everyone we know but she’s still messaging me from random accounts saying I ruined her life and she didn’t deserve to be “exposed like that.”

And now I’m sitting here feeling like I’m the bad guy somehow because I told people instead of just quietly divorcing him.

I don’t even know anymore.

AITA?